Treatment week 9 of 12 0r 24????

I am living in a limbo land of waiting for results, 8 days ago I had the bloods done, the all important bloods that will determine weather I stay on these Direct Acting Antiviral medicine for another 12 weeks or not…

Because I am genotype 3 (the most aggressive one and hardest to treat) sometimes people are prescribed 24 weeks as protocol, but because I have bought my medicines from India I could only buy 12 weeks worth.

My private Hepatologist suggested that if I was 'undetectable' at 8 weeks a 12 week course of the medicines should suffice. So fingers crossed.

Undetectable means no detectable virus in my blood in the viral load blood works.

So I have a finite amount of time to find out really as the medicine take 10-14 days to arrive in the UK from India and I have 3 weeks left of medicine on my 'altar'…….limbo land it is.

 I phoned and emailed the secretary, she made it perfectly clear in high tones of authority, that I was hassling her. As soon as the results are in she will contact my hepatologist, she has a sticky note on her computer, who would then contact me. BORING

My posse, my tribe, are in a muddy field in the South-west of Britain a place where I normally am this, high summer, time of year.

 My ten year anniversary with my Man yesterday and we haven't seen each other in a couple of weeks and I feel very sad and separate from both him and my 'normal' summer world.

Glastonbury is a beast of a festival, we go each year, creation of our beautiful Space and instillation is something that I have birthed with my Seeds SistA, we too share a marriage that vows were exchanged into 10 years ago. 

Our space offers rest and respite to weary and in need people, herbal teas that we grow and harvest, potions and lotions all administered with magic and kindness. We Mother the masses with joy and care, witchcraft and science and we love it, connecting souls to plants, reconnections with our planet in the belief that in doing so we create social change, rippling out Globally.

The decision to stay at home near my juicer, bed and peace was a no- brainer, on this medication, at this time, where I am delving deep into myself unpicking the fabric of what my physicality has held for over 2 decades, I must rest and recuperate, no unnecessary stress needed but I miss my posse and I miss the tribe.

In 15 years of living in this house I have never been here in the summer months. We always move into caravans and trucks and travel the length and breath of the UK sometimes Europe. I am so lucky to have the garden here to spend time in quite contemplation. As the medicine swipes the virus out of my liver cells, I am clearing unwanted old stuff from my home, my kitchen stripped of many layers of wall paper, ready to be plastered a new, my bathroom scrubbed and polished today the under stairs cupboard is gonna get a going over. This reflection in my home of clearance feels so good at this time and being here alone, completely alone is  both cathartic and alien as I haven’t been alone for this length of time ever.

My symptoms of taking these drugs are now severe stiffness in my spine especially around the liver area, joint aches and pains, mood swings to the extreme of suicidal thoughts one day and ecstatic  joy the next, sad tearfulness and anger in the same breath.

I haven't been self supporting with herbs on a physical level but have them all around my on an emotional and spiritual one, been having reflexology or massage weekly. Although a got pissed off with a couple of therapists one well meaning person, wouldn’t stop talking about ‘weakness’ in my liver after a reflexology treatment. I wanted to shout at her to ‘SHUT UP’ and not use such negativity as I was drinking my water post treatment but that is my own stuff….I was bleeding so super sensitive…I shall speak to her in my own time.

I had planned to finish the medicines and book into a cleansing retreat but after discussion this on a forum realized that potentially these medicines can stay in the system for a long time after treatment finishes still working. Some folks relapse and that is a valid reason not to do any drastic cleanses.

 So I will postpone the Detox until a later date if I still like the idea…in favour of nourishment and perhaps a holiday.