2 weeks post treatment;
2 days after stopping the medicines, my
palpitations disappeared as though they had never been present, I hadn’t
realised the levels of anxiety that the palpitations had created until they
were gone.
The medications stripped my body of vital minerals, vitamins
and other nutrients, I am now living with arthritic joint complaints, so pretty
much the past 8 weeks have been in bed on a hot pillow, I can walk around but
it is impossible to sit down. So when I get up I tidy and clean, organise and
walk. Not sitting down is tiring in the extreme and makes eating seriously
weird! I have a very tidy kitchen happily washing up alot.
Journeying thought this time of personal health challenges,
has given me plenty of thinking space, the pains in my back and joints have
given me a ‘constant’ to work through my own fears. A vivid memory from
childhood was fair seeing a palmist at a fete, she highlighted a gap in my life
line, told me I would be ill for a long time, but that I would recover, her
words have always been with me and I wish she had said, ‘You will be ill for 8
weeks….then get better’, second guessing time periods of illness is exhausting.
A couple of days ago I hit a wall, my back was more painful
that ever, it seemed as though relentless positivity was cracking, just below
the surface my dark, demons laughing. My faith crumbled, I believed in nothing.
I am a person who has a strong belief, and it is my faith that pulls me through
all the shit, that life throws.
I believe in Nature and in Spirit, exploring a plethora of
differing tools and systems, that uphold and nurture this faith. It all left me
last Saturday. I felt nothing. I did not believe. It was dark and wholly
uncomfortable.
I went to youtube in a search for answers and discovered,
someone talking about pacman……closing the laptop, closing my eyes, I remembered
to breathe. Spending 2 hours in my bed breathing, long deep full breaths, shifted
my consciousness, raised my energy. Sunday morning I literally bounced out of
bed, the pains lessened, still their but more importantly my spirit is strong.