Treatment
week 20 of 24...so close to the end of taking these Direct Acting Anti virals, laid
out flat on my back in pain, for the past week. Sacral area of my lower back in
spasm, unable to stand or walk or sit up....one of the side effects of the
medicine is joint stiffness/pain and the whole time on treatment, I have felt
more 'clicky' or 'crunchy' in my joints.
I
do suffer from an intermittent sore back and normally I treat myself with
herbal anti inflammatories, circulatories, nervines, smooth muscle relaxants
and mood up lifters;
I
would prescribe myself;
- · High doses of turmeric powder,
- · Tea of hypericum, rose, chamomile, lavender, valerian and lemon balm.
- · Tincture of meadowsweet, lime flowers and hypericum.
- · Epsom salts and lavender essential oil baths
Because I
am taking these orthodox medicines and do not want to inhibit them in any way I
am cautious of taking herbs through out the treatment, but I have been drinking
lime flower and rose tea for my intense palpitations which have been around
since treatment week 12, the doctors advised Betablockers that was a step too
far for me. And this morning I took 2 capsules of valerian…
I am
noticing a big change in my personality, over these past 5 months I have stayed
pretty much at home, a lot of the time in bed, my lack of energy, lethargy,
apathy has been the hardest thing to deal with but now added to that the
inability to stand is forcing me to literally ‘accept’.
Accept the
mess in my home
Accept the
inability to mother my child in the way I feel most comfortable with (cooking,
cleaning, preparing, taxiing, etc)
Accept
help from my wonderful partner, who has not gone to work, who is mothering me
Accept
help from my brilliant teenage son and his girlfriend, letting them both care
for me
Accept I
cannot hold my profession together at this point
My roles
as care-giver, as teacher, as gardener, as mother, herbalist, yoga teacher,
wife, sex goddess, friend, community activist have all paled somewhat as I have
slowly stripped away the virus that has live in my system since I was a
teenager. Over 20 years this Dragon has inhabited my body, slowly damaging my
liver tissue, lived in my soul, eating away at my longevity.
This pet
Dragon, taught me to be temperate with myself, she taught me to watch my
reactions and to question which reaction was ME and which was driven by HER.
The liver in Traditional Chinese Medicine is called ‘The seat of Anger’ this
large organ, is responsible for many processes in the body and I think of the
liver as the chemical powder-house….and with that power house comes plenty of
heat….add to that a virus that slowly destroys liver tissue and cells, more
heat and inflammation….and Anger.
Anger,
Judgement, Hardening of emotions, all things I have experienced arising from
this virus. Talk to others with Hep C I have seen many parallels with these
experiences. For years I have questioned my own compassion, my inability at
times to ‘feel’ anything, how quick my judgement of situations and people can
cut in….the yoga and meditation practice supports me immeasurably but I am
aware of my innate nature and now this treatment and potential viral ablation,
it could all change???
Everyone I
am connected with that has gone through/going through this treatment has been
given the hope of a longer healthier Life….we have all faced our individual
mortalities in some way or another and this ‘miracle’ treatment has give many
freedom of fear and hope……
Although I
am on my back in pain, losing myself to some void, I feel positive, loved and
mostly hopeful that in a few months time this will all be a distant memory…
